no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
