Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
