I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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