i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What a dumb baby whore.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
