so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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