STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
