So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
