she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Randomize
