Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
