She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
