His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
