My friends, they love my intelligence
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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