Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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