Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Two words: nipple clamps
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