Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
