Someone shit on the floor
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize