I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
