wat bout pragnant strippers??
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
