somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
