You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
