My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
