i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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