I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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