there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize