this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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