i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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