there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
