And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize