When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
