She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize