I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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