I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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