I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
