are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
