Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
