he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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