Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
