worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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