They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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