i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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