...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
