Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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