so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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