At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
