Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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