he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
