There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
