I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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