I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize