god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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