So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
