You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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