That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
