as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
