as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
