So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we're making bets on your personal life
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
