I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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