Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
