that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
