In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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